12 Feb 2022
New Year, New Baby
Sitting down to write a blog post feels like something from
another lifetime right now and yet wow yes, hello, this is a comforting
familiarity. Except of course, I’m not ‘sitting down’ to type at my laptop as
usual; it’s 4am and I’m typing one-handed in the notes on my phone. The other
hand is trapped under a sleeping baby who is stretched out across my belly like
a purring cat. Am currently debating whether I risk trying to move him back to
his cot before circulation in my left arm is cut off completely. I feel life
with a baby would be even more challenging if I lost an arm but equally… he’s
asleep. Priorities ya know?
So yes, had a baby. I know. Feels bloody wild.
Our little munchkin made his grand entrance over the
Christmas period and since then we have been consumed by the emotional
rollercoaster that is life with a newborn baby. We’re trying to minimise his face appearing on the
internet for the time being so you will just have to take my
word for it when I say that is he is very, very cute (not that I’m biased in
the slightest…). You know me and my incessant need to document everything so no
doubt there will be further blog posts about the remainder of my pregnancy, a
very memorable Christmas and these intense newborn days but for my first blog
post of the year, we’ve got a bit of looking back / ahead to be doing. Quite
frankly, I feel off kilter if I don’t do this at the start of each year (ignore
the fact it’s February - everything takes longer to do right now).
It still blows my mind that in 2021 I grew an entire human
so it surprises me that I don’t feel like I have much to say about last year.
Whilst it was ultimately life changing for us, by the time lockdown had lifted
and I’d emerged out of the fog that was the first part of pregnancy, half the
year was already over. Aside from growing a baby, my parents moving to be near
us was a massive highlight, as was getting a proper holiday and renovating our
garden. But one of the main things to stand out was the slow return of all
those little days of joy that we lost during lockdown; weddings and weekends,
beach trips and date nights, cafes and bookshops. I hope all these things are here
to stay and we no longer have to live with the anxiety of uncertainty.
We are still adjusting to what life looks like with a baby
so currently don’t have grand plans for 2022 but here’s five things I’m looking
forward to this year:
Good health - it’s still a novelty to not have chronic
heartburn, to not have to wee every five minutes and to be out of the worst of
the post-birth recovery phase. I feel lighter when moving. Admittedly my
strength is at an all time low what with that post-birth core and several weeks
of mostly being sofa-bound under a feeding baby but I’m hoping that once we
start getting into more of a rhythm, I can start fitting some pilates and
longer walks into the day.
Feeling a bit more myself - can’t tell you how much I’m
enjoying no longer being in maternity leggings! After two years of lockdowns
and pregnancy, you could say I have felt discombobulated with my own body and
how to dress it. Whilst I am going to do a bit of shopping because suddenly
everything needs to be breastfeeding-friendly, I also want to put a conscious
effort into shopping my own wardrobe. I’m hoping I’ll slowly get back into
feeling myself, or at least this new version of myself.
To watch bubba grow - he literally changes everyday and it’s
going to be mind-blowing how much he will have changed by the end of the year.
These first few weeks have been tough but I’m always trying to remember that he
will never be this little again and enjoy the everyday joys. I can’t wait for the
milestones, the firsts and watching him meet the world.
Creative moments - it’s only in hindsight that I realise how
much my creativity was dampened during pregnancy. I’m not sure if it was the
huge physical or hormonal changes but things just weren’t sparking in the same
way. Since having the little one, despite the huge adjustment, sleep
deprivation, birth recovery etc, I feel like the desire to do all the things
that make my heart sing has stopped dozing and started stretching its legs. I’m
looking forward to the reading, writing, baking & photographing that I can
squeeze in during feeds, nap times and whenever else I get a moment!
To enjoy a gentle maternity leave - I’m lucky to have the
whole year off work and I’m determined to make the most of it in a gentle
fashion. To enjoy our first year as a family of three. I’m excited to finally
have the time and freedom to get well acquainted with the area we moved to two
years ago. Thanks to a generous gift from my parents, we are now National Trust
members so we are hoping to start making the most of that shortly. I’m looking
forward to time with loved ones, celebrating my 30th, days spent on the beach,
in the garden and pottering around town, day trips, perhaps our first family
holiday and plenty of little joyous day-to-day moments in this unique year.
Hope 2022 is treating you well dear reader.
8 Dec 2021
Recent Happy Things | Autumn & Festive Edition
Currently on the sofa nursing a roast dinner food baby (alongside an actual human baby) with a Christmas tree twinkling in the background and a Yankee Christmas cookie candle burning next to me. Truly content with this set-up. It's been a busy few months prepping for baby, prepping to finish work, trying to squeeze as much out of my favourite time of year and trying not to freak out about becoming first-time parents in the very near future. Everything is a combination of excitement and WHOA on an almost-daily basis right now, and yet I also feel weirdly calm? All the emotions.
But anyway, here’s some of the magic stuff from the last couple of months:
Autumnal scenes. Oh how those golden views and crunchy leaves under foot make my heart happy.
Chocolate scones. Recently discovered that one of our local cafes does rich, warm, chocolatey scones with clotted cream and they are so good.
Long overdue catch-up with my friend Susie. We met in such a cute pub, face-planted a baked camembert and debriefed the last two years. It was a joy.
A final trip up north before bubba arrives. I managed to time it just as the weather was getting colder and the cats were curling up in front of the fire; is there anything cosier?
The Netflix fire. Sadly, our house is not set-up for a real fire, or even a fake fire, so the next best thing is the Netflix fire on the telly and yes, okay, there is no heat but the crackling sounds and the flickering flames are still really very cosy.
Taylor’s Red album. Those tracks from the vault though! Never have I been more indignant about a gal being stood up on her birthday (if you know, you know…).
A visit from my gal Beth and her baby boy who is less of a baby these days and more of a sassy toddler who has absolutely no fear of enormous slides. On a side note, toddlers are excellent when heavily pregnant because you can walk at their pace and no one need know this is the pace you now actually walk at.
Sparkly winter wedding in the Cotswolds. Bonfire night weekend, the gorgeous Cotswolds, catching up with old friends, incredible food, SPARKLERS and witnessing some of the best people getting married. What joy.
My sister came to stay and wandering around autumnal fields & eating Indian food with her and the fam the same weekend I finished work felt like a mini celebration.
Date night. To celebrate me finishing for maternity leave, Gary and I went for a little date night at a local Italian where there was great mocktails and a cookie-dough themed pudding. The staff were also super lovely and chatty about our bubba, including one woman who said she could guess the sex based on the shape of my bump. I don’t really buy into that kinda thing but in fairness, she was correct!
Christmas market. This came to Ely at the end of November and I really was in my element with the sparkly lights, Christmas music, bratwurst and sugar-covered churros. So festive.
I’m a celebrity. Starting the day with trash telly on the sofa has felt like the ultimate indulgence whilst on maternity leave and I’m really here for it.
Putting the Christmas tree up. I used our imminent arrival as a way to persuade Gary to put our tree up early this year and I cannot tell you how happy a twinkling tree in the living room makes me. I’m convinced the room is made at Christmas time.
Tony’s chocolonely advent calendar. I think I might have bought this back in October because the moment I saw that my favourite chocolate company had made a huge advent calendar, I knew I had to get my hands on it. Finally have been able to crack it open and am thrilled to discover it includes some of the flavours not available in the UK.
A festive lunch with my friend Lizzie when she came to visit for the day. We had turkey sandwiches, mulled wine (sadly not for me) and Christmas pudding in a cosy café decorated for Christmas and it was bloody lovely.
Nigel Slater’s The Christmas Chronicles. I am a sucker for some seasonal reading at this time of year and just 40 pages into this book, I am in love. I identify hard with Nigel’s love and appreciation for midwinter and Christmas, particularly a sentence about how he feels like he can breathe again when the cooler air comes along. I would recommend if you also love the winter, but also if you don’t because this book will encourage you to find the little joys in it.
I hope you are enjoying the season dear reader. I may not be posting for a little while as we wait for and enjoy our new arrival so I hope you have a lovely Christmas (certainly a better one than last year!) and I will see you soon!
7 Dec 2021
12 Random Reflections On Pregnancy
I mean, there are many things to say about pregnancy. It can have you feeling many different things all at the same time and no experience is the same. But these are some of my random reflections on the last nearly-nine months.
1/ I knew heartburn was a thing in pregnancy. Didn’t know it was so much of a thing that I should have bought shares in bloody Gaviscon.
2/ I’m still not over how much is put on due dates when there is essentially a five-week window in which a full-term baby can arrive and only about 5% come on that 40-week date. Blows my mind a little bit.
3/ Midwives really like asking you for a wee. Every time I leave for an appointment, it’s like keys, purse, mask, pot of urine. I have lived in fear of ruining a handbag with my own piss, which hasn’t really been an issue in life up until now.
4/ The narrative of trying to scare new parents-to-be about pregnancy, childbirth and the newborn days has really got to stop. There’s honesty and then there’s deliberately trying to invoke terror in someone in a vulnerable position. Not cool.
5/ We now calculate time in weeks and days but never months. Don’t know why this is confusing for you...
6/ The question I have been asked the most during pregnancy (aside from whether it’s a boy or a girl) is if I’ve had any weird cravings. It amuses me how disappointed people are when you say no. Even Gary seems slightly disappointed that he was never sent out to hunt for gherkins at 3am. I can only apologise.
7/ People really want to touch your bump. It’s like their hand is pulled towards the possibility of new life like a magnet. It’s cute when it’s your friends, less cute when it’s random drunk stranger at a wedding.
8/ The bigger I’ve got, the more off my spatial awareness has become. My error of judgement usually occurs in a café or restaurant when I think I can squeeze between two tables or past a waitress and then suddenly I’m pressing my unborn child into somebody’s face. My bad.
9/ I know it’s just a thing we say but the more it’s been said to me, the more bemused I’ve become by ‘sleep now, whilst you can’. Aside from the fact that I do not possess a magical power to bank my sleep hours for the future (don’t worry lads, got a full night’s sleep on 18th November 2018 so we’re all good), telling this pregnant woman to get a good night’s sleep will result in me detailing how many times I had to get up for a wee last night. You have only yourself to blame.
10/ Do you miss alcohol? Only when surrounded by drunk people and realising how annoying they are when you’re the solitary sober person. Brie on the other hand…. We will be reunited soon my love.
11/ I’ve been pretty lucky in that I’m still able to walk a few miles before needing to stop but my perception of how fast I’m walking is now somewhat off. I think I’m walking at my usual pace and then my Apple Watch asks me if I’ve ‘finished my workout’. Cheeky prick.
12/ Yeah Netflix is great and all but have you ever spent several hours watching your baby move in your belly? Never gets old.
6 Dec 2021
Slow Recipes For Slow Winter Days
Top photo by Gaelle Marcel
5 Dec 2021
Photo Diary: Visiting A Giant Globe @ Ely Cathedral
Back in the summer, the Gaia globe art installation came to Ely cathedral. Measuring seven metres in diameter installed in an impressive cathedral, it was quite the spectacular sight and I love the photos I managed to capture with the wide-angle lens. The installation aims to create the experience astronauts feel when viewing the planet from space and, in light of the pandemic, a new perspective on the Earth, our interconnected societies and the responsibilities we have toward one another and taking care of the environment. You can read more about it here.
2 Dec 2021
An Ode To The Perfect Cookie
A few months later, we met in London and headed to Crème, a newly opened bakery with many similarities to Levain, right down to the tiny shop tucked into the street and full of people and the most incredible smells. Again, we ate them on the street only this time it was a cold January day in England and the steam from the cookies was the only source of heat. They were nearly as good as those eaten on a hot New York street. We wouldn’t see each other for over a year after that point, thanks to the 2020 lockdowns. During those long months at home, I found the perfect cookie recipe to bake; the closest I’ve got to recreating eating enormous cookies on city streets. They are full of huge chunks of Diary Milk, frozen before baking and are in the oven for no longer than 12 minutes which results in a deliciously gooey centre. It is a comfort that can only be improved if eaten with an old friend standing outside a warm bakery.
Hey there!
