30 Aug 2018
What Not To Say To Someone With Acne
Ah acne. My little gal pal. She first rocked up in my life when I was about 15 and she seems to really like me. Seriously, she won’t leave me alone. It’s creepy.
I went on antibiotics for my acne again last year, and am currently on a prescribed cream. As a result, I reckon my skin is looking better than it’s done in a while but the fucker still won’t go away completely. Some days, I don’t even think about it. Others, I consider just chopping my cheek off and being done with it.
Seeing as I’ve been plagued with the bugger for so long, I am well acquainted with some of the bullshit people say when it comes up in conversation (some well-meaning, and other’s not so much…).
‘Your skin looks great!’
Bless em, people mean well. They want to make you feel better and boost your confidence. But, let’s be blunt; I’m not fucking blind Karen. My skin DOES NOT look great otherwise we would not be having this conversation. If you want to truly cheer me up, buy me wine.
‘Wash your face more regularly?’
I mean, okay, people aren’t usually so direct but that thought process is hinted at a lot. Usually whilst talking some crap about a ‘skin care routine’. Quite frankly, the implication that having acne is related to poor hygiene is just so unbelievably insulting. You honestly think I’m sat here with a BLEEDING FACE because I can’t be bothered to wash??? Also – whilst we’re here – washing areas suffering from acne more than twice a day actually irritates the skin and makes symptoms worse. So there. *sticks tongue out*
*suspicious tone* ‘You don’t look like you have acne.’
Excellent. I’ll buy this concealer again.
‘Make up will only make it worse you know.’
Naturally, said by people who have never suffered bad skin in their entire life. I’d like to give a well-articulated argument as to why suggesting to someone with terrible skin that they should forego make-up whilst being surrounded by clear-skinned people is at best, stupid and at worst, cruel; but why bother when the words ‘fuck off’ do the job just as well?
‘You need to improve your diet.’
Acne is not the same as getting a breakout because you went out on the lash and fell asleep with your face in a half-eaten kebab. So, a little louder for the people at the back:
There. Is. No. Evidence. That. Diet. Plays. A. Role. In. Acne.
NEXT.
‘Drink more water?’
I shall refer to my friend Chandler Bing: SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP.
‘I feel ya, I get bad spots all the time.’
A bad headache is not a migraine. Mount Vesuvius momentarily setting up camp on your chin is not acne.
Annoying, for sure, but still not acne.
‘You’ll grow out of it.’
I’m 26. I have not grown out of it. Even my mum is willing to admit she can no longer use this as a way to comfort me. For the majority of people, acne disappears in their mid-twenties. Still clinging on to that hope, although my 27th birthday does appear to be fast approaching…
Have you tried…?
It’s been 11 years Brenda, I’ve tried bloody everything.
I cured my bad skin by drinking grapefruit juice, worshipping the moon and washing my face in dog poo.
Or something of that ilk. That’s a cool story bro. Brb whilst I roll my eyes so hard I see my brain.
Shout out to anyone else plagued by the red-faced bugger that is acne.
25 Aug 2018
A Jaunt To The Peak District
In what I hope is slowly becoming an annual tradition, the girls and I headed off for a weekend in the countryside this month. Last year: Wales, this year: the Peak District.
We stayed in a little cottage a few miles outside of Glossop – a market town in Derbyshire approx. 20 miles from where yours truly was born. Our cottage was on a little farm; it had a roll top bath, spiral staircase and an old English sheepdog that was basically a teddy bear and who we 100% wanted to take home with us.
Four of us arrived mid-afternoon on Friday and after a nose around the house (my friends seemingly like to inspect every single drawer and cupboard), we headed into Glossop in search of a Friday-night drink. Surprisingly, we stumbled across a cocktail bar with 2-4-1 cocktails before 7pm so this seemed like the obvious choice and we spent an hour drinking pina coladas and strawberry daiquiris and probably discussing things one shouldn’t discuss in public. Meh.
We then took a trip to M&S whilst a tad tipsy. Claimed we only needed a ‘few snacks’ – spent 100 quid. Top work gals. After picking up the fifth member of the crew from Glossop train station, we headed back to the cottage to snack and drink gin before curling up with a cheese plates on the sofa in front of the fire. Living the dream tbh.
After a healthy lie-in and lazy breakfast on Saturday morning, we decided to head back into Glossop for a mooch and ended up stumbling upon an artisan bakery/caf̩ РGlossop really did have it all. We had some divine sandwiches and coffees sat outside in the sunshine before a lovely little wander around the local market. Reader Рwe discovered the most epic cake stand. The cakes were huge and intense and goddam I wanted them all. So yeah we bought a slice of each. And what?
Flavours included terry’s chocolate orange, millionaire shortbread, cadbury’s crunchie, cherry bakewell and oreo. Five enormous slices cost us a tenner. Can we get a cheer for northern prices please?
We collapsed back in front of the fire when we got back, ready for a few solid hours napping, reading and some random yoga; finished off by a 5pm glass of rose. So flippin’ cosy.
Naturally our evening involved food and nattering. Seriously, all we do is chat and snack; thank the lord these girls just get it. I live for the fact that none of them would ever suggest we hit a club.
We had an epic cheeseboard, a game of dipsticks and some very entertaining conversation before Claire announced that we’d – DUN DUN DUN – run out of wine. I’m not sure if we felt like we were lacking in adventure after last year’s rescuing-a-sheep incident or we just really wanted more wine but we decided we were going to jump up and walk to the local pub pronto. Down the pitch-black road. In the pouring rain. With the very real possibility of being hit by cars.
We banged on the door of the pub after they had closed like wine-thirsty maniacs. The guy behind the bar – cheers Ben – thought it was hilarious. Particularly when Claire expressed her distaste for the lack of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. The owner was slightly less amused. Still, they let us buy two bottles and we disappeared off into the night to celebrate our victory. And eat cake.
After a very lazy brunch of avocado and eggs the next morning, and another reading/napping session, we piled back into the cars for a drive home through the beautiful, heather-covered peaks.
21 Aug 2018
What I Loved About The Edinburgh Fringe Festival
I realise that a lot of my blog content recently has been very Scotland-heavy but that’s kinda what my summer has been like. Think I not-so-secretly want to live in Scotland tbh.
After many, many visits to Edinburgh and years of repeatedly saying I must come stay for the fringe, I finally made it to Edinburgh in the month of August, ready to experience the famous Fringe Festival.
And boy did I love it.
Less than 3 weeks after flying back from Inverness, I hopped on a v early morning flight (waaay too early for a Saturday; my body didn’t know what the fuck was going on) and was in the centre of Edinburgh by 9:30 ready to knock back a coke (I don’t drink coffee) and crack on. By half 11 I was drinking a gin & tonic so we certainly were cracking on.
Lucky for me, one of my oldest friends lives in Edinburgh so I got free accommodation, freshly baked cookies and my very own festival organiser – cheers Dan. As it was my first fringe festival, I was very happy to let Dan organise my weekend and go with the flow so I arrived to a pile of tickets and no idea as to what I was going to see over the next two days.
Spoiler: a lot.
The Festival Vibe … without the long-drop toilets
Realise it sounds kinda wanky to bang on about ‘the vibe’ but yeah, I loved the vibe, the feels; whatever you want to call it. It was that festival feelin’; happy, sunshiny, expecting the unexpected, plenty of weird and wonderful things going on, the smell of street food…. But all without the faff that comes with camping. I was clean, there were no long-drop toilets and I could sleep in a double bed. Win.
The Food
Sweet jesus, the food. THE FOOD. I will never not love the way street/festival food has developed over the past few years; it’s a flippin’ dream. You couldn’t move without finding an incredible-sounding food truck and we ate about 6 times a day. Halloumi fries, crème brulees, banana & peanut butter crepes, dumplings and cheesy aioli chips were just some of the highlights. Get in ma belly.
The Shows
The main event of course. I had made a couple of random requests based on some sparring research but otherwise Dan was in charge of the schedule. We managed to squeeze in 8 shows in 48 hours and each one was completely different; I felt like we saw such a wide variety. And that's not including the shows that were just happening in the street. A guy making up raps based on what people had in their pockets. A guy playing the most beautiful violin solo. Hundreds of people in costumes. I loved being surrounded by all the creativity.We were in the audience for the BBC new-comedy award semi-finals, had our minds blown at an Ethiopian circus (how the hell are they so flexible?!) and loooved Margaret Thatcher: Queen of Soho (80s drag cabaret: Maggie gets lost in Soho and accidently becomes a cabaret superstar – so funny).
There were some slightly smaller productions which I enjoyed just as much as the bigger shows. These ones made me nostalgic for all my years at a drama group and actually felt the more creative. We saw a musical called 89 Nights – about a young woman living in New York for the length of her tourist visa. There was 9/11 was a conspiracy; a one-woman show about your beliefs fundamentally differing from your partners, and Anya Anastasia: The Executioners which was a musical/comedy performance about attacking the technology aspects of the modern world.
Baby Wants Candy was probably my favourite – a completely improvised comedy musical based on a title the audience shout out at the beginning. Ours was ‘Haggis, neeps and titties’ – it was hilarious. The same company also did Voldemort and the Teenage Hogwarts Musical Parody which was also snort-your-drink funny. Favourite line; Dumbledore: ‘well, I’m just going to go and stick my dick in the sorting hat’.
And on that note… See ya next year Edinburgh!
19 Aug 2018
Finding My Wedding Dress
I feel it goes without saying – but I’m gonna say it anyway – that obviously the pictures in this post are a) not my wedding dress and b) nothing like the wedding dress I ended up choosing.
So yes lads, I’ve found my wedding dress. Don’t get weepy now.
Wedding dress shopping was something I had mixed feelings about. On one hand, obviously I was pretty excited. On the other, it was something that presented a whole load of issues (as I wrote about here).
When I first started thinking about a wedding dress I, naturally, did a lot of internet browsing. Whilst I have no other alternative as to how to research these things, I personally think this was a bit of mistake for me. I browsed an endless amount of bridal boutique shops and became more and more nauseated with what I saw. Women with impossibly thin waists. Shops that only stocked size 10s. Shops that – in an incredibly pretentious manner – had a whole section on why you MUST NOT take any photos during your appointment. I read blogs about women who’d been asked how much weight they were going to lose as though it was a given and saw dresses that cost as much as my entire wedding.
As a result, for a long time, I was pretty convinced that I didn’t want to go any bridal boutiques, didn’t want the dress to be expensive, and was happy to buy it from the high street and not engage with any of the madness (again, see this post).
Whilst that does still all sound rather pleasant, I’ll be honest, it’s all gone out the window.
But I’m happy about it, so all good.
I ended up relenting and booking two bridal boutique appointments for a couple of reasons. The main one being that I didn’t really know where to start. Whilst places like John Lewis, Monsoon etc etc do have bridal ranges, you can’t just rock up at your local store and find the dresses hanging around the same way you would a pair of jeans. From what I could gather, only specific shops (usually in some inconvenient part of London) stock them and no where seemed to be that clear as to how you would go about trying on the full range. Basically – it wasn’t immediately obvious nor obvious after a bit of research and that annoyed me. I like simplicity.
The second reason is, over time, I had decided on a specific style of dress that I wanted, right down to the maker, and only a handful of shops stocked them. Which is why we ended up, slightly randomly, in a bridal shop just east of Cambridge.
My mum and I booked a Friday off, got up early and started the day with cake and coffee in the sunshine, before heading to my first appointment. It was 31 degrees and I was mostly concerned as to whether the shop would have air conditioning to be honest.
When we entered the shop, we were greeted by the sight of a huge amount of white, poufy, laciness and my main thought was oh god please don’t turn me into a poodle.
As it turned out – we had a bloody whale of a time.
All my anxieties were proved completely wrong and I was so darn happy about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure some bridal boutiques are just as heinous as imagined but not the one I’d stumbled into.
Odette, the owner, was so lovely. She ushered us to some comfy chairs, brought us drinks and chatted to me about the kind of wedding I was having and the kind of dress I was looking for. She was very good at immediately putting me at ease. We were shown round the shop, learning about the different styles of dresses in each section. My favourite fact? All dresses were stocked in sizes 6 – 30. Kinda wanted to high five her.
After this, we were given a big pile of tags and left to browse the shop (which we had to ourselves) at our leisure. The premise is you add a tag to a dress you think you’d like to try on and then she can whizz round the shop picking them out for you.
My mum and I had a lot of fun looking at all the dresses and tagged a combination of tea-length dress (my preferred style) and longer, boho type dresses. You do kinda hit a point though where it’s like okay, they’re all white, they’re all pretty… how does one differentiate?!
And then it was time to get trying. I tried on a lot of dresses but – unusual for me when shopping – I didn’t get remotely fed up. I’m not sure if it was the 1:1 attention I was getting, having someone there who knew what would suit my body shape or just the fact that it’s pretty darn fun to try on really grand dresses.
Honestly though, the thing that struck me most was the fact that everything looked good on me. I kind of had this epiphany that the majority of body insecurities could probably be cured if we all could wear clothes that are beautifully made and designed to be as flattering as possible… so we all just need to win the lottery asap kay?
Odette was constantly re-adjusting my ‘top 3’ based on my preferences and I was beginning to learn that the old cliché is true – the dresses that look the best are often not the ones you would have picked yourself. If there was one that I particularly liked, Odette would then go grab more in that style so we could focus in on what was working. My mum was taking millions of photos, I was prancing around surrounded by mirrors and we were just generally having a great time.
Odette then brought one dress out that wasn’t the kind of style I’d been looking at but she thought it might suit me and it also came in a tea-length version. It was grander and, I guess, more traditional than I imagined myself in but I was happy to give it a go.
Soz for making you vom, but there definitely was a bit of a moment when I saw myself in it for the first time. I’m not saying I immediately burst into tears and was like IT’S THE ONE; it was more like I LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS AND NOW I’M CONFUSED.
We tried on a few of my other favourites again but that was the one I was most interested in putting back on and the second time round, I definitely felt a bit giddy in it. Particularly when I discovered that it had pockets.
It was the complete opposite of what I was convinced I wanted; longer, simpler, grander... and yet I was a little bit in love.
As we had a second appointment in Cambridge that afternoon, we decided to think on it for a bit. As it was very different to what I’d been claiming I wanted for months, it made sense to at least consider it over lunch before blowing a ridiculous amount of money.
So we headed into Cambridge, grabbed an enormous pastry and then headed to our second appointment. It was a similar set-up only a much bigger shop so there were more appointments going on. My mum and I both thought that the quality of the dresses wasn’t as good as the first place (although they were actually more expensive) but it was still a really nice experience. It did quickly become obvious to both of us that I already knew which dress I wanted, and it wasn’t in this shop. But I still had a lot of fun trying on a lot of dresses – including styles I knew I would never pick. Aka dresses with 3 metre trains… hey, it's not often one gets the opportunity to try on absurdly extravagant dresses. May as well make the most of it!
Afterwards, we went and sat in the park and looked back over the pictures of ‘the one’, confirmed it was ‘the one’ and rang the first shop back. My mum was whispering her credit card details over the phone whilst we sat on a bench!
I got to try it on again when we went back to the shop a couple of weeks later so they could take my measurements. It will now take 4-6 months (!) to be made specifically for me (I’m basically the queen) and then there will be a couple of months for any alterations. Honestly, I’ve never loved an item of clothing more. My favourite lounging joggers are thoroughly put out.
16 Aug 2018
North Coast 500 | Where We Stayed & Ate
I know it’s probably old already but WE DROVE THE NORTH COAST 500. Swear I’ll stop going on about it at some point.
The main tip I’d give for organising a NC500 road trip is to book in advance. As much as I liked the idea of simply booking our flights in and out of Inverness, picking up our hire car and then just driving off and seeing what happened; the NC500 takes more planning than that. Unless you plan on wild camping (my only regret), you will need to book your accommodation for each night because everywhere gets booked up in advance. I don’t think we saw a B&B with any vacancies the entire trip – and there were a lot of B&Bs. The same goes for food – some places you stop at for the night will literally just have the one restaurant and said restaurant only has 5 tables so yeah; you get my drift. You gotta get organised.
So here’s where we stayed and where we ate along the North Coast 500….
Night one: Lochcarron
Accommodation: The Sithean B&B
Pronounced ‘she-hen’ and meaning ‘fairy hill’; we thought this place was adorable. It was set into the hills so took about half an hour to walk into the ‘centre’ of Lochcarron but it was a very pleasant walk so we didn’t mind. The owner was really friendly, we had freshly-baked scones waiting for us upon arrival and the view was stunning. There were all these lovely touches that made it feel a really special place. I loved the sculpture of the highland cow which, if you looked closely, had a little fairy sitting on a swing inside it. The breakfast (full Scottish for G, Scottish oatmeal for me - with full cream!) was also really tasty.
Food: The Lochcarron Bistro
Very small and very popular, with only 9 tables. We had a slight moment of panic when we arrived and found they’d messed up our booking because, as far as I could tell, this was the only place around. But they seated us just fine and we had a really nice meal. The inside weirdly reminded me of a Greek taverna – I think perhaps it was the cute simplicity of the place? All the menu was written on blackboards all over the wall and we both ordered the ‘posh fish n chips’. Battered salmon fillet, langoustine and smoked salmon with chips and peas. I wasn’t quite prepared for the langoustine to come with shell, eyes & all and it was so much faff for like half a mouthful of food but the battered salmon was tasty and the chips incredible. Only downside of the place was your choices were either fish or meat; no veggie options in sight. Otherwise, would definitely recommend. Sticky toffee pudding was a highlight.
Night Two: Gairloch
Accommodation: Gairloch View B&B
A bit more basic compared to the Sithean but no complaints. Again, owners were friendly and we had tea and cake on arriving. The best thing about this place was definitely the view (clue’s in the title). We managed to time our arrival just as the sun came out and we sat on the deck looking out across Gairloch and out to sea with blue skies and sunshine; it was glorious.
Food: The Millcroft Hotel
Pretty average tbh. Nothing wrong, but I wouldn’t shout home about it. We very much enjoyed the view of the mountains though, and the home-made apple crumble was pretty good.
Night Three: Ullapool
Accommodation: Ferry Boat Inn
The pub itself was lovely; 100% our kind of place. The room was what you’d probably expect above an inn; clean but basic. Although the shower didn’t drain properly. Considering this was the most expensive place we stayed (£100), I’m not sure you’d say it was good value for money. It did the job though and, like I said, we liked the pub itself.
Food: Fish and chips sat on the front! Really fresh and really tasty – we loved!
Night Four: Lochinver
Accommodation: The Rose Guest House
Had a bit of a hostel vibe going on which we weren’t a massive fan of. Great view over Lochinver though and I was impressed with the packed lunch they did us to take away: pile of sandwiches, crisps, tomatoes, kit kat, apple & orange juice for just a fiver.
Food: Peet’s restaurant
Lochinver has a foodie reputation and Peet’s did not disappoint. A vegan menu! Gluten free! The choice! The ‘Peets parcel’ which I had for my starter – goat’s cheese wrapped in ham and chutney – was heavenly. Main was a spicy sausage, chilli, pesto, parmesan & rocket pizza and dessert was a chocolate orange torte. Loved the atmosphere of the place and the service was really high quality. Would highly recommend.
Night Five: Kinlochbervie
Accommodation and food: The Old School Restaurant and Rooms
Big fan of this place. Right on the side of the road just outside Kinlochbervie overlooking a spectacular view. The old school (from 1879 – 1970) has been converted into a restaurant and the rooms are in an annex, with a little stream running under the window. The restaurant had all these cute little touches, playing on the history of the place, like the kitchen door with a ‘headmaster’ sign and blackboards dotted about on the walls. There was an impressively stocked bar and the food was all really good quality. G said his paté was incredible so there you go.
Night Six: Melvich
Accommodation and food: The Melvich Hotel
Loved loved loved. Located on a hill-top, looking out to sea. There was a perfectly placed bench at the edge of the garden, where we sat with drinks enjoying the view. The décor was shabby-chic, nautical and awash with fairy lights; basically everything I want in life. We stayed in a twin room because it was the cheapest and it was nice and cosy.
Their food speciality is stone baked pizzas and honestly, they were absolutely incredible. I genuinely think maybe the best pizzas of my life? We shared two between us – one ‘Brims Ness’ which was salami, cherry tomatoes, mozzarella and basil and one ‘Farr’ which was mozzarella, goat’s cheese, highland brie and basil. The ‘Farr’ was insanely good and I wish I could eat it at least once a week. G had ice cream for dessert and they had a huge range of flavours, and I had the Italian doughballs which were rather sexy (although still not as good as the pizza…).
We had drinks in the lounge afterwards and spent a good while reading through the original guest books / registers – the hotel was established in 1851 and it was fascinating to see all the people that had passed through over the many years.
Night Seven: Lybster
Accommodation: This cosy cabin booked via Airbnb
I wish we had booked two nights at this place; it was freakin’ glorious. Again, located on a hill top (are ya sensing a theme?) with a beautiful view of the sea. The cabin was adorably cosy with all these homey touches. My favourite part was probably the handful of chickens wandering about. They weren’t bothered by us whatsoever and had no qualms at attempting to get into the cabin or hopping up onto the table; I thought they were hilarious. It also meant we got fresh eggs for breakfast in the morning so win win.
Food: the one night we self-catered! We had pasta and some rice pudding and it was actually quite nice just to have something simple after a week of indulgence. There was a little picnic bench just outside where we sat to eat and drink gin in the beautiful sunshine.
Night Eight: Inverness
Accommodation: Touchwood House booked via Airbnb
By far the most unusual place we stayed. This was a grand Edwardian mansion, hidden behind a mini forest. It was quite something to pull up to; Gary had just commented that it looked like somewhere that could be haunted and then the big front door creaked open to reveal a woman in black stood behind it (she was very friendly though)! The house was huge, creaking and mysterious; like a never-ending maze. The lounge was lit mostly by blue fairy lights and the house was full of witch figurines, huge plants, and had its own resident ginger cat called Bailey! We stayed in the ‘Alice’ room which was Alice in Wonderland themed. It certainly was surreal and I’m not sure G knew what to make of it all but I thought it was the perfect way to end a week that had felt full of adventure.
Food: The Kitchen Brasserie
We hadn’t booked anything in Inverness, assuming that we’d be fine now that we were back to civilisation but it turned out that booking was important in Inverness on a Saturday night! We were lucky in the end. We stopped at this place because it was right on the river and you could sit outside so we thought it was perfect for a drink. We asked to book a table inside for later in the evening but they had nothing available. Luckily the weather was warm enough to stay out so we ended up having a few drinks and then ordering food outdoors. The food was really tasty and I would definitely recommend – particularly the truffled parmesan fries.
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