Lockdown Diaries #4: Call The Asthma Nurse, Make Bao Buns, Take A Deep Breath

For a while now, I’ve felt like I probably need to sit down and take a deep breath. I’ve been coming to the slow realisation that lockdown has ruined my ability to relax properly. The lines between work and hobbies and switching off have blurred somewhat whilst all living on top of one another with no breaks or change of scenery. I have been trying to ignore this because my tactic during this winter lockdown is to stay busy/distracted, but then on Tuesday morning I woke up and realised that I couldn’t actually breathe properly. Honestly, there is nothing like the inability to take a deep breath to focus one’s mind.

 

All hail the NHS - an hour after logging a ticket on ‘ask my GP’, I had the asthma nurse on the phone (saying words like ‘inflamed airways’ which is always reassuring) and an hour after that, I had a big pack of new drugs in my hand. I was desperate for that deep breath, and I felt somewhat daft for leaving my inexplicably worsening asthma to continue to worsen over the last couple of weeks before doing anything about it. 

Because I was so darn tired from spending most of the week focusing on my breathing, this weekend I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing. There was no bare minimum; I didn’t even have to get out of bed if I didn’t want to (which I didn’t until about 11 on Saturday) and it was nice to remember that lockdown weekends can be lazy too rather than trying to always be busy. After spending the day doing nada, we made bao buns and gyoza for the fun of making something new at home and, in our steamy kitchen, I was able to take a deep breath again. 

If you can, right now, I urge you to do the same.