8 things I've stopped apologising for

11 Jun 2017

A perk of this adulting malarkey is that you slowly stop giving a damn about what other people think. There are certain aspects of your life/personality that you no longer feel the need to justify to other people, because they don’t fit into someone else’s perceptions of what you ‘should’ be like. It’s really rather empowering don’t ya think?

So here’s a few things I no longer feel the need to apologise for.

My political views. This one’s going first because it’s particularly relevant in the current climate. If you want to keep your political views private, that’s your choice, but I no longer buy into this idea that we shouldn’t reveal who we’ve voted for. Why? I’m not ashamed of who I choose to vote for, mainly because my vote represents my fundamental belief of what is right and wrong, and I don’t see why I should feel shameful of that. After the EU referendum, Trump and Friday’s fiasco, I’ve learnt that it’s okay to say THIS IS NOT OKAY as much as I want. So, yes, I’m not remotely happy with the general election result. I don’t stand with the Tory policies and I certainly don’t stand with them palling up with a bunch of misogynistic, homophobic, climate-change-deniers. Having said that, the amount of people who came out to vote, particularly the amount of young people (you go guys), the lack of Tory landslide and the surge of support for Labour has left me with a little hope in my heart.

Wanting a healthy work/life balance. I often tell people that I don’t really have career ambitions, but I don’t think that’s entirely the case. I have aspirations; they just don’t involve being promoted to director by the time I’m 30. It’s more write-a-novel by the time I’m 30. Whether it gets published or not isn’t actually the point. What I’m saying is, I have no intention in buying into this long hours, checking-emails-at-the-weekend, having no free time scenario. I work because I need money to live and for no other reason. If I can find something that interests me or that involves meeting lovely people, then fabulous. But I won’t apologise for leaving work at a reasonable hour nor for the supposed ‘lack of ambition’ this apparently portrays. My personal aspirations, mental health and loved ones are far too important to make apologies for.

Not replying to messages. I’m crap at it okay? It’s not a personal reflection, it’s not that I don’t care about you and it’s not that I’m lazy. But I’m not going to apologise for not having my phone glued to my face, for having a busy life or for sometimes just simply not wanting to talk to people, either physically or virtually. I will reply but if it takes several days, or even a couple of weeks, that’s just how it is. BIG LOVE to the friends that totally get this ❤

Not enjoying clubbing. I’ve over it; I no longer want to do shots or go to bed at 4am. Move on.

Calling friends out. Life is too short, and we’re no longer kids in the playground. If a friend is being unreasonable or just simply bullshitting, they gotta be called out. I used to just keep quiet or whisper my objections in an apologetic manner and you know what? It left me feeling really resentful and that’s the friendship down the toilet. True friends can call out each other’s bullshit and it should make your friendship stronger for it.

Not being a morning person. I mean, sure, I no longer sleep until midday like the good old student days but I’m still not jumping outta bed at 7am ready to boss the shit out of the day like I hoped. It’s been over 25 years and I’ve finally accepted that my brain/body doesn't start functioning properly until approx. two hours after waking *insert shrug emoji*.

Being curvy. Yes, the pressure will probably never go away, but I am DONE with feeling like I have to apologise for the fact that I don’t have a flat, toned stomach or will never fit into a size 8 or have thighs that, DUN DUN DUN, wobble when I jump up and down. It’s just far too much effort.

Unproductive days. In the past couple of years, I’ve got into this slightly bizarre habit of beating myself up for having an unproductive day. Those days where you just kinda laze around and suddenly what the eff, it’s 4pm and I’ve done bugger all. I feel like I should have spent more time writing or should have made the most of the weather or at least cleaned the flat, and then I essentially make myself feel bad over it. And do you know what? For starters, putting unnecessary stress/pressure on yourself is just ridiculous but also, it is AH-OKAY to have as much downtime as you need. Brb, just off to watch a week’s worth of Corrie.


  1. "I used to just keep quiet" ??? My memory is failing me. Must be getting old...

    1. Yeah, well, when it came to you I had to defend myself against the monumental piss-taking. P.S. you are getting old...