26 Nov 2024

An End-Of-Summer Glamping Trip In Suffolk


Glamping

You know you have an idea for how you want a trip to be in your head and then, through pure luck or magic or whatever, it ends up being exactly how you imagined? That was this little mini break. 

I booked this relatively last minute in August when I was feeling a bit down about feeling unwell a lot whilst summer whizzed on by. I thought a trip in early September would be a nice way to celebrate the end of the summer and make the most of the weather before the leaves started to fall. I imagined the weather to be warm but with that freshness and golden light that emerges as the two seasons intermingle. I imagined Alfie absolutely loving running around in the woods, rosy cheeks and mucky hands. I imagined campfires and stargazing and so much fresh air that it knocked us out at night. And we got it all. 

Gary and I have been glamping a couple of times before this and are fans. In my opinion, it’s like getting all the best bits of camping but still having a comfy bed to sleep in. This really was GLAMping; our safari-style tent in Suffolk had a gas-powered hot shower and basic electricity, but it was a good gateway to seeing how we would feel about more basic glamping or proper camping with Alfie. He had the time of his life so I suppose I better start shopping for tents and camping stoves and take a few deep breaths over what my holidays might look like in the future. 

Within a few minutes of arriving, once he’d gotten over his post-nap grumpiness, Alfie was having a whale of a time sitting amongst the luggage in the trolley that we pulled from the car to the tent. He ran around outside, getting excited over the field full of cows opposite and the goats/chickens/rabbits/pig next door whilst we vaguely unpacked and then sat down on the decking with crisps and drinks, before heating up the sausage casserole I’d made earlier and packed up in Tupperware. 

It was deliciously quiet and dusky, and I watched a bat circling around for ages. We let Alfie keep playing until it was dark before tucking him up in the four-poster bed. It was extremely cosy in there, the three of us lying in bed together reading bedtime stories. Gary slept in the bed next door (if you count the other side of a piece of fabric as ‘next door’) and I joined Alfie in the four-poster. Slipping into bed with him was like getting into bed with a gently-snoring hot water bottle; with all the fabric hanging above our heads, it was like sleeping in a very cosy den. Obviously, we were woken up in the middle of the night by the foxes screeching but what do you expect when sleeping in a tent? 


Glamping in Suffolk

Glamping in Suffolk

Glamping in Suffolk

Glamping in Suffolk

Glamping in Suffolk

The next day started with early-morning bacon sandwiches and then my parents stopped by for the day on the way back from their holiday nearby. We whiled away the time not doing very much; sitting on the terrace, popping to the farm shop café a mile down the road for lunch, having an afternoon nap in the hammock (me) or on the sofa on the decking (my mum) or the buggy (Alfie) before driving over to The Maybush Inn. I’ll be honest, the food wasn’t great but the location on the side of the river was excellent, and Alfie had a great time getting absolutely filthy playing on the muddy beach with his Grandad. 

The rain came hammering down at about 4am on Sunday morning which was cosy but not great for sleeping or for a pregnant woman’s easily-triggered bladder. Amazingly, Alfie slept through it, but Gary and I got up a little bleary-eyed. I gotta say though, this was a lot easier to deal with when stepping out to that countryside air. We went into Woodbridge in the morning and had an early lunch at The Woodyard – their pizzas are so good – before retreating back to the countryside where an afternoon nap for everyone was once again on the agenda. Once we were all up and about again, Gary introduced Alfie to the concept of collecting sticks from the forest floor for the fire. I’m not sure he realised what he would be unleashing because Alfie took this very seriously and – as it transpired – had to collect all the sticks from the forest floor. There were a lot.  


When I could finally tempt him away from this activity, I took him back round to say hi to all the farmyard animals (this occurred several times a day) and to climb on the hay bales. He was in his element in his wellies, surrounded by tractors and farm life – pretty sure this kid is going to be a farmer. Meanwhile, Gary was getting the campfire going. Ooof the smell of campfire! Obviously toasting marshmallows was on the agenda and whilst Alfie wouldn’t contemplate trying s’mores, he happily sat there eating the chocolate biscuits and telling us that the fire was ‘HOT!’, as if we were the ones who kept threatening to charge towards it. 

Finally, we had a clear night and the stars were unbelievable. Away from any light pollution, the whole sky was lit up and twinkling, and I actually managed to get some half-decent photos on my phone. 

On our final morning, we packed up, stopped by Woodbridge for brunch at Honey & Harvey – where Alfie ate nothing but hash browns – had a little nose around the local bookshop, and then it was time to head back to brick walls and central heating.  


Glamping in Suffolk


19 Nov 2024

October Journal | To The Pumpkin Patch(es)! Plus A Seasonal To-Do List & Things I've Loved Lately

October journal

I was barely aware pumpkin patches existed before becoming a parent and yet it’s my third year in a row of going and I don’t plan on breaking the tradition anytime soon. I know they are probably a bit cheesy and many of us could probably think of more appealing ways to spend an afternoon then in a muddy field with lots of other children, but this is one of those family activities that I can get on board with (soft play on the other hand…). It’s fresh air, it’s autumnal, it feels wholesome, there’s farm machinery for my tractor-loving child, and I usually find some kind of baked good. I’m here for it. This year, we ended up going twice: once to the MK one with friends of ours which really goes to town on the whole Halloween vibes and once to our local one which is smaller but cuter. Alfie absolutely loved sitting on tractors and putting pumpkins in the wheelbarrow (which we had to then surreptitiously empty when he wasn’t looking) and we even got him to wear his wellies which is one up from last year. 


Autumnal/Christmas to-do

This is hands down my favourite time of year and whilst I try not to put too much pressure on it because I don’t want to risk making it stressful, I do like to try and soak it up as much as possible. So I jotted down a few ideas in September of things to do/watch/eat to try and embrace everything cosy season.
 

Do: Hunt for conkers with Alfie. Visit a pumpkin patch. Make ginger cake and do sparklers in the garden for Bonfire night. Have an autumnal and/or Christmassy weekend away. Add a few Autumn touches around the house. Cosy up under a blanket with a book, candle burning and the Netflix fire in the background. Make a hot chocolate on a rainy Sunday afternoon (okay, every afternoon). Go out for a roast. Read spooky/Autumnal books. Try and see Wicked at the cinema. Get ahead on Christmas shopping, trying to shop local as much as possible. Decorate the house for Christmas as soon as I can persuade my husband it’s not ‘too early’. Buy some Christmas pjs. Go to a Christmas wreath workshop. See the cathedral all decorated for Christmas. Go to a Christmas light display. 

Watch: Bake Off, Shetland, Bad Sisters, series 2, The Holiday, Bridget Jones, The Polar Express (hoping to try this one with Alfie for the first time), Arthur Christmas, Love Actually. 

Make: Soup, fresh bread, practice Christmas dinners, cosy autumnal recipes; pies, stews etc, Christmas fettucine, camembert and cranberry toasties, milk buns for Boxing Day leftovers sandwiches, Christmas cookies, cinnamon buns.  


Twenty things I’ve loved lately 

Visting the new Dishoom in Cambridge; so good. 

Bridgerton series 3; that show is just joyful, ridiculous escapism and I’m here for it. 

A little day trip into London to meet my friend’s new baby. 

Alfie’s joy in conker hunting – we varnished all the ones he collected and put them in a big jar with some fairy lights, and it makes a cute autumnal decoration. 

An autumnal wreath on the door; yup I’m that person and I don’t even care. 

Killing half an hour by letting Alfie run amok in the toy shop. Easy pastime, great way to put together his birthday/Christmas list. 

Golden autumn leaves everywhere. Alfie scooping up big handfuls and throwing them above his head.
 

Baking diary milk and cinnamon cookies. 

Misty mornings with dewy spider webs in the trees. 

Baby kicks really starting to – excuse the pun – kick in.  

Alfie’s sheer joy in drinking hot chocolate.
 

As sad as it sounds, the absolute satisfaction of cleaning and tidying the house and sitting down with a candle burning, the Netflix fire on the telly and a freshly made hot chocolate. 

When your kid and one of your oldest friend’s kids start developing a cute little friendship. 

Alfie offering to ‘help’ grate the cheese, turning round to find him nibbling on an entire block of parmesan. 

Fenland sky sunsets. 

Pumpkins on doorsteps. 

Buying all of Alfie’s birthday/Christmas presents and briefly, just for a split second, feeling like I was vaguely on top of something. 

Alfie insisting on me putting my coat on because he didn’t want me to be cold. 

Buying an air fryer; the trend finally got me. 

Baby scan and little one being nice and healthy.


October journal


October journal


30 Oct 2024

How To Make A Vegan Wedding Cake & Cupcake Tower

 

Wedding cake

When my sister asked me to make her wedding cake, I was honoured she trusted my baking skills enough with such a big task. One of my oldest friends baked our wedding cake for us and every time I look through photos, it always makes me feel warm and fuzzy that she put that amount of effort in for us. It’s such a personal, special touch to the day and I loved the idea of doing the same for my sister. So, of course, I said yes immediately. 

It was only later that it dawned on me what I had committed to. I thought about all the weddings I have been to and realised at some point on the wedding day, every guest was going to gather around my creation and take a lot of photos. No pressure.

The brief was: a bit rustic, flavours preferably carrot and/or lemon, and all vegan. Which did mean I spent quite a lot of the first half of this year obsessing over how to make the perfect vegan icing. Still, nice to have hobbies. After a lot of back and forth, I eventually settled on the idea of a smaller wedding cake alongside a cupcake tower. 

It was the first time I have ever focussed on just one bake over several months, baking, tweaking, baking again, tweaking again until I had a result I was happy with. I was pretty sick of eating carrot cake by the end of it but the baker in me really loved the process. It’s not something I would normally allow myself the time or energy for – it would feel a bit excessive to do it for no reason – but having a reason to do it made me understand how fun it could be to do for a living.

The Wedding Cake 

The original recipe for the sponge of this carrot cake was from the cookbook A New Way To Bake by Phillip Khoury, which I tweaked to make it a little more citrussy. The icing was based on a lot of internet research and a lot of trial and error. 

This cake is a normal size so could be also used as a nice birthday cake or – hey why not – a just-because-it’s-Tuesday cake. It is 100% vegan. 

For the cake:

200g grated carrot

50g raisins

100g walnuts, roughly chopped

120g muscovado sugar 

150g caster sugar

350g oat milk

80g olive oil

300g plain flour

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp bicarbonate of soda

1 tsp cinnamon 

½ tsp nutmeg

Zest of 1 orange 

Pinch of salt 


For the icing:

600g vegan butter (I used flora) – at room temperature and then blasted in the microwave for 10 seconds 

280g icing sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

4 tbsp aquafaba (the water from a can of chickpeas)

3 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice 


To decorate: 

Edible flower petals


Pre-heat the oven to 180c and grease & line the base of three 20cm shallow cake tins. Combine the grated carrots, raisins, walnuts, both sugars, milk and olive oil in a bowl and stir well with a silicone spatula. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, spices and salt. Add to the carrot mixture and mix well to combine. Stir through the orange zest. 

Divide between the three tins – I would recommend weighing to ensure all the sponges are as equal as possible: it’s approximately 430g of batter in each tin. Bake for 25 minutes. Swap/rotate tins and bake for another 10 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Cool the cakes completely in the tins before icing. 

I did a lot of trial and error with this icing, and after several attempts, my conclusion is that is it much better to use an electric hand whisk as opposed to the stand mixer. So: whisk butter in a large bowl with hand whisk until just creamy. Add the icing sugar, stir it in a little to avoid a mushroom cloud of sweet snow, and then whisk until just combined.

Add the vanilla extract and aquafaba and whisk for 3-4 minutes. Aquafaba is the magic ingredient here; it transforms a sweet, yellowy butter into a white, silky-smooth buttercream and I find it a little bit magical to watch it come together. You need to keep an eye on this – 3-4 minutes is an approximation. I would say don’t do less than 3 minutes, but you don’t want to over whisk. It’s a bit of judge-by-eye situation and you need to bear in mind that once you’ve done this, you’re going to add the lemon juice and whisk for another minute. The important thing is that it is silky smooth and can hold its shape. 

You will have a generous amount of icing here; that’s okay. Nothing worse than running out and I found it reassuring to have some spare to take with me just in case of any hiccups when transporting the cake.
 

Level off the sponges if needed (I made them on the same day but I am almost certain you could make these the day before and wrap in clingfilm as soon as they are cool, and they would be fine). Put your cake board (think carefully about the colour as it will peek out) on an icing turntable, dollop a splodge of icing on the cake board to hold the cake in place and lay down your first sponge. Spread a generous – you have loads, don’t be stingy – amount of icing on evenly and then put the next sponge on top. Repeat. 

Once all the sponges are stacked, start applying the icing to the sides and top using a dough scraper and palette knife. Make this a thin-ish layer and don’t worry too much about presentation at this point. Then put in the fridge for about half an hour. Do not skip this step; it stops any crumbs getting caught in the icing and makes the rest of the icing so much easier. 

Once out the fridge, apply the rest of the icing on the cake, using the dough scraper, palette knife and turntable to smooth. Steady as you go, there’s no rush. I just kept going and smoothing until I was happy. Rustic was the vibe so it didn’t need to be perfect and I was going to decorate with the edible flower petals anyway. For the flower petals – I think you absolutely need a pair of bent-tip tweezers to get them on without smudging icing everywhere but you might have more delicate hands than me. I had no set ideas for the flower petals, I just created patterns depending on what arrived. 

On the day, I stood the cake on a pretty stand and added the topper. It stood in front of the cupcake tower; speaking of which… 


Vegan wedding cupcake tower

The Cupcake Tower 

The below recipe is for a batch of 24 vegan lemon cupcakes. I made four batches. 

For the cupcakes:

100ml rapeseed oil 

2 tsp cider vinegar

400ml oat milk 

450g self-raising flour 

1 tsp baking powder

300g golden caster sugar 

3 tsp vanilla paste 

Zest of 2 lemons 


For the icing:

560g vegan butter at room temperature. Blast in microwave for 10 seconds before starting.  

230g icing sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 tbsp aquafaba 

Zest of 2 lemons 


Pre-heat the oven to 160c fan and pop your paper cases into the cupcake tin. 

Combine the rapeseed oil, cider vinegar and oat milk in a jug, and then combine the flour, baking powder and sugar in a bowl. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet mixture, whisking as you go. 

Add the vanilla paste and lemon zest and stir to combine. 

Divide between the muffin case – it’s approximately 3-4 tablespoons of batter per cup. 

Bake for 15-20 minutes until golden and a skewer comes out clean. 

To make the icing, use the adjusted measurements but follow the same instructions as above, only add lemon zest at the end, instead of lemon juice. 

To ice, I would recommend buying very big piping bags and a large nozzle. If you’ve not got much experiencing icing cupcakes (like me), here’s what I learnt from practice, and then icing 96 of them in a row:

- Your instinct is to start in the middle of the cupcake but don’t. Start from the edge and twirl your way in. That’s how you get the pretty bit in the middle. 

- Have a lot of icing in the bag and a good amount of pressure so you don’t run out halfway through icing a cupcake. 

- Be bold and be fast, if you dither or try to be gentle, they don’t look as good or the icing goes everywhere. We had a system going where Gary would have a continuous stream of cupcakes in front of me, so I never really stopped icing, and my mum whisked them away into the carry case and the never-ending motion was what gave me the best results. It was surprising how quickly I managed to ice them all as well. 

- The first few won’t be great but don’t worry. You’ll get into your stride, and they can go at the back. 

- Your arms and back will ache. Not much you can do about that I’m afraid. 

All the cupcakes were baked in paper cases and then we added them into the pretty cases afterwards. The tiered stand was just clear acrylic but that was all we needed; 96 cupcakes piled high was enough of a statement. 

On the day, we had the cupcake tower stood tall and then the cake in front of it and we decorated the surrounding table with colourful dried flowers. And, if I do say so myself, I was pretty chuffed with the end results. 


Vegan wedding cake

Vegan wedding cake

All photos by Hannah Mia.

2 Oct 2024

September Journal | Cosy season, my go-to candle brands & things I’ve loved lately

September journal


Cosy season is upon is. It’s my favourite season of the whole year and I am very happy about it. People often assume that, if you love Autumn and Winter, you must hate summer and that really isn’t the case. There is plenty I love about summer; the way my garden fills with colour, the smell of BBQs, the bright blue skies, long evenings sat out with fairy lights twinkling, the juicy fruit, picnics, ice cream… 

But there’s no denying I also find summer overwhelming and overstimulating. The constant pressure to be having the best time ever, the crowds, the way I can always hear my neighbours in the garden (and smell their ridiculously strong weed habit), the expectation that you should always be enjoying the weather even when you can’t hack temperatures higher than about 24c, and spend most of your time trying to find the shade. 

It's acceptable to admit that your mood leaps when the sun comes out, but people think you’re strange if you admit that the thought of golden leaves whipping around in a brisk wind is your idea of heaven. But I’ll choose a rainy day sat by a roaring fire over a hot beach any day, and I don’t mind admitting it.
 
September is a lovely month in between the two seasons though. Still warm, but not overly so, and with that freshness in the air that always makes me feel excited for the season to come. You can literally watch the season change as the month goes on and I think there’s something special about that. 

My go-to candle brands

As we’re going into the season of knitwear and candles, I thought I’d share with you the candle brands I fall back on every year when I’m stocking up:

Illumine candles – a small independent business run by a couple in Devon. I first discovered their cashmere vanilla and sea salt caramel candle when buying a Christmas present for my sister and it smelt so good when I opened the packaging, then I immediately ordered one for myself, and have continued to do so every year since. The scent fills the room and lingers for ages afterwards. Whilst this is by far my favourite scent, I’ve tried several of their others and they’ve also smelt delicious. At £16 for a large candle, I also think they are really good value for money.  

& Chai – another small independent business, run by two sisters in Hertfordshire. What I particularly like about this brand is their wooden wicks which gives off a gorgeous crackling sound, like an open fire. I also really enjoy their slightly more unusual scents and cute names (particularly enjoy the Taylor Swift references). The last candle I ordered from them was the ‘Apple Grove’ which is green apple, caramel, red berry, toffee and cocoa crème whip – smells gorgeous and perfect for Autumn.  

Overose – I tend to only buy from here when there’s a sale because they are very pricey. But their patisserie range, including the viral croissant candle as well as flavours such as pain au chocolat and cinnamon bun, make your whole house smell like a bakery. They burn beautifully evenly, and their solid pink / purple candle are very aesthetically pleasing. Keep an eye out during Black Friday if you want to treat yourself. 

Twenty things I've loved lately 

The way my favourite coffee shop always gives me a little extra hot chocolate. 

Colin From Accounts series 2. Love it when a second series is just as good as the first. 

Soups, anything with gravy… it’s that time of year. 

Race Across The World; one of those rare occasions where I think the celebrity version works just as well. 

A glamping trip just before the weather truly turned, countryside, campfires, stargazing. Gorgeous. 

Vinted saving my bacon when it comes to having no bloody clothes to wear. I shall be living in second-hand maternity dungarees for the foreseeable. 

Cooking shows – Jamie Oliver and Nadiya Hussain; I find them extremely soothing. 

A weekend in London with my girls; we ate, we talked, we looked at pretty views; basically my favourite kind of weekend. 

Our little family of three; I mean, I love them all the time obviously but you know sometimes, you look at them and think how did I get so lucky. 

A night out with the NCT gang, love it when you talk so much you lose track of time and suddenly it’s 10:45pm (a very late night for me these days). 

Ella Risbridger’s shallot, rosemary and chorizo carbonara recipe. Autumnal and absolutely delicious.
 
An early gender scan to find out the sex of baby no.2. Added treat of getting to see them in 4D. 

A Very Royal Scandal; a brilliant piece of television. Ruth Wilson was particularly good. 

Emma Gannon’s substack newsletter, I enjoy every issue that arrives in my inbox. 

Bake Off is back!! I made us mug cakes to eat with the first episode – whisk together 8tbsp plain flour, 4 tbsp cocoa powder, ½ tsp baking powder, 4 tbsp sugar and a pinch of salt. Add 10 tbsp plant milk and 4 tbsp olive oil and whisk again until smooth. Pour evenly into two mugs (halve ingredients if just for one). Add a tbsp Biscoff spread on top of each (no need to mix this in). Microwave for 1 minute. 

Currently reading Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo and it is bringing me out of my reading rut. It is also perfect reading for this time of year – spooky, magical, dark academia vibes.  

The enthusiasm Alfie shows when eating a chocolate brownie. 

I'm writing a new story over on substack – as always, it’s a very early draft but the fear of sharing my messy, early work is getting easier. It’s a very gentle story about New York, grief, food and two strangers coming together. It’s going to be 6-7 parts and you can read parts 1-4 here. I’m sharing the next instalment on Friday.  

Crunchy leaves underfoot. 

Deep breaths when sat on a windy beach watching Alfie throwing stones into the sea, before hunting out some warm, sugary doughnuts. 

September journal


25 Sept 2024

One Minute Book Reviews: Summer Reads

Summer reads

I am in a reading rut and I cannot tell you how much I loathe it. The first trimester has done a number on me; feeling too sick to read and too exhausted to get drawn into a book. I am really hoping that now I’m through the worst, and cosy season is here, I will get stuck back into some good’uns. In the meantime, here’s the small selection I read over the summer:  

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley 

A civil servant finds herself working on an experimental project that brings expatriates from the past into the twenty first century. She is responsible for helping Commander Graham Gore, a Victorian polar explorer presumed dead in 1847, adjust to modern day phenomena such as Spotify, germs, transatlantic flights and political correctness. Over a long, sultry summer, the two begin to fall in love but as uneasy truths start to emerge, they are forced to reckon with the realities of the project that brought them together. I loved the first half of this novel; watching Gore discover and adjust to modern day life, the dynamic between the two main characters, the scenes where the characters from across history came together (particularly loved Maggie and her Tudor-ways). I didn’t so love the final third of the novel where it got caught up in sci-fi adventure that just wasn’t… very good? And jarred with the first half of the story. I wish we could have just spent more time watching the characters integrate and interact; that was the better story to tell. 3.5/5

I hope this finds you well by Natalie Sue

Jolene works in a dead-end job, riddled with anxiety and depression, and hates her co-workers. When an IT mix-up grants her access to the entire department’s private emails and DMs, she is initially horrified to discover what her colleagues really think of her, until she learns job cuts are looming and realises the power this access can give her. But as she delves deeper into the private lives of her colleagues, Jolene discovers a lot more than she bargained for and her carefully-built walls start to crumble. Imagine a very low-key thriller of office politics combined with a romantic comedy. This was very funny in places with characters that are so flawed, you can’t help but love them. It was one of those that has you from the first page and I really enjoyed it. 4/5

You and Me on Vacation by Emily Henry 

Poppy and Alex have been friends since college and made a pact 10 years ago to go on vacation together every year. They’ve had adventures in Vancouver, New Orleans and Croatia, but two years ago it all went wrong. Now Poppy has invited Alex on one last trip; perhaps the last opportunity for these two best friends to realise they could be something more. I’m slowly working my way through Emily Henry’s back catalogue and whilst I enjoyed this, I didn’t think it was quite as good as the other two I’ve read. Still, a nice summer read and full of the great dialogue that Emily Henry does so well. 3/5

Impossible Creatures by Katherine Rundell 

Christopher is visiting his reclusive grandfather when he witnesses an avalanche of mythical creatures come tearing down the hill. This is how he learns that his grandfather is the guardian of one of the ways between the non-magical world and the Archipelago, a cluster of magical islands where all the creatures we believe to be myths live and thrive amongst humans. But the protection of the islands is wearing thin, and Christopher sets off on an urgent quest alongside Mal, a girl with a flying coat and a baby griffin, to find out the truth about what threatens both their worlds. This novel got a lot of fuss in the world of children’s books, and I can see why. I think it’s a real talent to write well for children and I think if the author has done it in such a way that an adult can enjoy the story as well, then they’ve nailed it. 4/5

Happy reading folks x

13 Sept 2024

August Journal | Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again


My summer has been a mix of exhaustion, gagging on non-existent smells and ranting about how it is possible for my clothes to not be fitting already

This is my way of telling you I’m pregnant again in case that wasn’t obvious. 

I found out when we were on holiday in Devon. I was so incredibly bloated that I turned to Gary one evening and said ‘do you think I’m pregnant or I’ve just eaten a lot of cream teas?’. The answer was both, as it turns out. I would say we didn’t tell anyone straight away, but I’m pretty sure I inadvertently told the woman working in the local chemist when I came in three days in a row, first to buy a pregnancy test, second to buy folic acid, third to buy Gaviscon. 

Those first few weeks of pregnancy are just about getting through and that’s what I’ve been doing since the start of July, head down, trying not to throw up, trying not to fall asleep in public, trying not to worry too much about giving birth again or the realities of life with a three-year-old and a newborn. I’ve been more exhausted than my first pregnancy (but I’ve also had an iron deficiency and a toddler so that might explain it), the nausea has come in waves rather than being relentlessly 24/7 like before, but I’ve found myself gagging a lot more; my sense of smell has been so heightened, pretty much anything can set me off. Still, I thought it had been, on the whole, an improvement than with Alfie but the morning I threw up at the smell of the food bin made me wonder if I was clutching at straws and first trimesters are just crap all round.  

None of my normal clothes fit, but I’m not really ready for maternity clothes. I think I managed to bypass this period last time because it was summer, and I just wore my usual floaty dresses with a bump peaking through. But we are entering into knitwear season and NONE OF MY JEANS WILL DO UP. As I write this, I’m wearing my roomiest pair of jeans with the hairband trick holding them together. Should I just resign myself to wearing leggings for the next few months?  

The thing I have learned about second pregnancies is that they are more understated than the first. Absolutely no disrespect to this very-much-wanted second child but I’ve done this before, I know what’s coming. It’s still special but there’s less nervous anticipation and more resigned reality. I’m excited for the good bits but lack the naivety of how hard the hard bits will be, and I do kinda miss that blissful ignorance of the first time. There’s also less novelty; it’s less big news for me and others. When I got pregnant with Alfie, I had one friend with a baby. Now I’ve lost count of the amount of lil squish balls knocking about. The main reason this pregnancy will be less dramatic than the first though is because there is absolutely no chance whatsoever of baby making their grand entrance at Christmas. I’ll be able to tell people their birthday without one person saying the words ‘that must have been a lovely Christmas present for you’ and ain’t that a treat. 

Sometimes I feel a little guilty that this baby doesn’t have all the hype of the first, but I also know how much they will benefit from having parents who have done this before. I can’t wait to put into practice all I have learnt with them. I can’t wait to hold a newborn again, to see whether they look like their brother. “I’m so broody,” I said to my friend the other day as a family with a newborn walked past. “It’s a good job!” she responded. In a way this pregnancy still feels very abstract, like we can’t quite believe we will be having another little munchkin to bring up. 

As you can probably tell, we’re nervous, excited and all the emotions in between. 

Little one will be arriving early Springtime.