27 Jul 2023

If We Were Having A Coffee, I Would Tell You... #4

Hi, hi. It’s been a while since we sat down and had a catch-up. Grab yourself a drink and baked good (non-negotiable, but I’m willing to share because cost of living and all that), and let’s have a natter.

What’s new… You know when people ask you what’s new, and you feel like you don’t actually have that much to report? I’m kinda taking that as a good thing. I don’t have any major life updates. 2023 is proving itself to be a nice, gentle year on the whole. Our weekly routine is pretty set and whilst I doubt it looks particularly exciting from the outside, I have a general feeling of contentment. Nothing is perfect, there have been plenty of challenges, but I also feel like leaning into this phase of life is the way to go at the moment. We’re pottering a long, spending a lot of time in the playground, constantly battling to keep the house a least vaguely tidy (no mean feat when your toddler’s favourite thing is to empty cupboards, pull things off shelves etc – it’s a bit like living with a mini hurricane), trying to maintain hobbies, exercise, sanity amongst the glorious chaos that is parenting. You know, the usual.

Summer so far… June just felt like a lovely month. We had a lovely, gentle holiday in Somerset, visited Kent to see Gary’s dad and catch up with friends, had some of my girls come stay, had dinner at The Old Hall (we had a voucher) and crashed my dad & Elizabeth’s holiday for the day which meant sitting in a hot tub on a Thursday afternoon – hard life. Spoiler – Alfie thinks hot tubs are a lot of fun. The weather was just beautiful, and our garden looked glorious in the sunshine which made me happy. July has been a lot quieter and rainier, but we have a busy August ahead and whilst it felt like the sunny weather was very fleeting, I am actually thankful for rain and cool winds because the weather across the rest of Europe right now is, quite frankly, bloody terrifying.

Alfie is now 19 months which is a surreal thing to type. He’s a real joy at this age; we are having hints of toddler tantrums (particularly if you take the remote control off him) but he is mostly smiley and excited by life. His favourite thing to say is still ‘oh dear’ although he does it with an enthusiastic level of enunciation so it’s more like ‘OH DEEEEEEEEEYA’. Sometimes we have ‘oh dear’-offs where we shout it back and forth to see who can do it with the most enthusiasm – he always wins of course. I assume he’ll say something else at some point (we have recently had hints of the word ‘chair’), but if not, he seems to communicate quite effectively with those two words. We finished breastfeeding at exactly 19 months and ooofff what a journey that was. It’s tempting to move on very quickly, but I equally don’t want to diminish it because it wasn’t easy. Nineteen whole months. I get a present right?! I don’t want to jinx it, but his sleep has also started to improve a little recently so we’re tentatively hopeful. I think I’m going to have to write a whole other post on sleep deprivation because I have a lot to say.

Money – I’m not really one to talk about my finances on the internet but equally, I do feel a sense of relief when other people do because it is very easy to scroll through social media and think it’s just you, particularly when you see the influencers constantly trying to persuade you to buy things and a lot of beach snaps. Mortgage rates, rent increases, cost of living…. Not the one is it? We also had the extra double whammy of childcare costs and needing to drop my hours at work post-maternity leave so that was excellent timing on our part. There’s no point to this really, just a little honesty.

My sister got engaged – on a distinctly average afternoon in March, I received a video call from a pretty garden in Rome and a sudden amount of shrieking ensued. I did already know that a proposal was on the cards, but this didn’t make it any less lovely or exciting. We are now in full-steam planning mode for next year. My sister is an events manager, so this is turning into the most organised wedding in the world and I’m here for it.

Tell me, dear reader, what’s new with you?

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16 Jul 2023

A Mini European Road Trip With A Toddler: Lille, France; The Netherlands & Bruges, Belgium

Alright. Raise your hand if you thought doing a road trip with a toddler who hates car journeys was a good idea?

Yes, okay, we live and learn.

This slightly bonkers idea came about because we wanted to go and visit our family in The Netherlands. I refuse to fly such a short distance, the Eurostar prices were obscene and I last approximately three minutes on a ferry before I’m hurling up my lunch over the side. So, we reluctantly accepted that we would have to drive and the only way this seemed bearable was to stop off somewhere along the way because a) sleep deprivation and b) toddler-who-hates-car-journeys-and-likes-to-scream-a-lot.

And then, well, my travel bug raised her little head. Because if we were going to break up a journey through Europe, it would be just plain silly to not make the most of it right?

It’ll be fine, we said. We’ll time each journey with his nap, we said. Reader, we were naïve. Would I do it again? No. Did we have a great time? Yes. (Mostly.)

Leg 1: Home > Folkestone, Kent

Our first leg was very functional. We surprised Alfie by picking him up from nursery at lunchtime (alright, you can’t really surprise a 16-month-old, but you get my drift) and planned to drive the three-hour journey to Folkestone in Kent all in one go. The nursery had followed our stern instructions not to let him nap with the idea he would fall asleep soon after we set off and wake up with perhaps half an hour to go. Alfie, however, did not get this memo. So naturally we had to pull over twice and the journey took at least an hour longer than intended. We hadn’t left the country yet and we were already having serious reservations, if only for the sheer amount of breadsticks we had already got through.

But then we made it to Folkestone, and we could see the sea, and we stopped for coffee in a cute book-lined café and it was actually super lovely us all being cosied up in a Premier Inn hotel room together. We were up bright and early the next morning to squeeze in an underwhelming Premier Inn breakfast and head off to the Eurotunnel down the road. We passed the wait at the tunnel by book shopping (me) and having some milk (Alfie) and then after a bit of a queue which required me to jump into the back seat to placate my inpatient child, we were driving onto the train and on our way to France.

Leg 2: Folkestone > Lille, France

Our first stop was Lille, Paris’ quieter and more friendly sister. Alfie hadn’t slept the entire way of course but had been in reasonably good spirits until he decided to time the ultimate meltdown (roughly translated as get me out of this freakin’ car seat) just as we were trying to navigate Lille’s one way system and unexpected road works. So that was just marvellous. Anyway, we made it to the hotel only slightly frazzled and grumpy. We were staying at Hotel L’Arbre Voyageur and I would highly recommend. Not only were the prices really reasonable, the staff were friendly and full of decent recommendations for us and our hotel room was upgraded which has never happened to us before. We ended up with a suite and a jacuzzi bath which was hilarious to bathe a toddler in. Also, large fifth-floor hotel windows + nearby roadworks make for great toddler entertainment. I’m pretty sure he would quite happily have spent hours watching the diggers going back and forth.

Lille was a lovely city to potter about in for 24 hours. There’s not masses to do so I personally felt like 24 hours was enough although, equally, I’m sure I could have easily passed another day mooching between coffee shops and bakeries. It was very pretty, full of v expensive boutique shops which I wished I could afford to shop in and just had this really nice, relaxed atmosphere. We spent our time wandering between the main sights and stopping off at whatever bakery or eatery that took our fancy. We enjoyed a wholesome diet of croissants, frites and crepes and even braved a meal out in the evening where the locals laughed at us because we sat outside in April like classic Brits abroad (although I would like to add that sitting outside makes a meal out with a toddler who likes to throw food on the floor feel so much more manageable).

Leg 3: Lille > The Netherlands

By far the best journey and, quite frankly, the only journey that went to plan; Alfie fell asleep ten minutes after leaving Lille and slept all the way to The Netherlands. So that was bloody dreamy. Whilst we were in The Netherlands, we had to do four car journeys and had a 50/50 hit rate. Two were awful, two were fine. And I guess we were learning that even the awful ones, you come out the other side (although not with much desire to repeat I will admit). We spent four nights staying with family which included lots of lovely family time and Alfie basically getting his two older cousins wrapped around his little finger, but there are a couple of more touristy highlights I’ll tell you about. The first is a major food highlight which, as you know, is my favourite kind of travel highlight. We had the most gorgeous meal at Café Clementine, a semi-permanent ‘pop-up’ restaurant on the outskirts of Barendrecht. Essentially set within a giant greenhouse filled with greenery and serving delicious small plates, this place is special. We managed to time our visit with a beautiful golden hour which meant we could a) enjoy a drink outside in the sunshine before eating and b) experience the joy of eating in an all-glass building with the sunshine streaming through. Oh, and there was a lovely outside space that Alfie could charge about in under the keen eye of his cousins, so we essentially got to enjoy the benefits of an all-adult meal with only the occasional little-person interruption.

And the second was ticking off a big bucket-list item – going to see the tulips at Keukenhof. Let me tell you, Keukenhof is absolutely worth the hype. It exceeded my expectations. The sheer amount and range of tulips spread out as far as the eye could see was breathtaking. Yes, I did come away with 200+ photos of tulips on my phone which might be considered excessive, but I have a compulsion to take a photo of beautiful things and those flowers were stunning. The size of the park surprised me the most; you really can spend a whole day there. Plus, the patchwork fields of tulips surrounding the park (which you see as you drive in as well as from high viewing points in the park) were also quite the sight. I loved watching Alfie absorb all the colours and smells and my favourite moment was watching him run up and down between the flower beds, stopping to gently touch the tulips.

Leg 4: The Netherlands > Bruges, Belgium

Hard to know if the pièce de résistance of the journeys was this one or our final one (see below) – Alfie fell asleep ten minutes into the journey, woke up ten minutes later and was absolutely furious. Which is how we found ourselves parked up in some random Belgian industrial estate alongside a couple of lorries and several cranes, trying to placate our extremely pissed-off child. How did I bribe him back into his car seat? I gave him a bag of cheesy puffs bigger than him. I will not win any parenting awards but, quite frankly, I do not care because the sight of my toddler independently eating cheesy puffs from a bag bigger than his entire body with the enthusiasm and chilled-out vibes of a stoner post-spliff was probably one of the funniest moments of parenting to date.

Anyway, we made it to Bruges. Google maps took is into the city via the country roads and it was a gorgeous way to arrive. The city seemed to gently reveal itself to us as we rolled through sunlit, tree-lined roads and I knew immediately that I was going to love Bruges. What a beautiful little city. We loved the cobbled streets, the waterways, the gorgeous buildings, the horses clip-clopping around, the constant smell of cocoa wafting out from the chocolate shops on every corner. We stayed in a stunning apartment for two nights; a converted loft with high ceilings and tonnes of natural light, light woods and a standalone bath (which, of course, I made full use of). It was sunny the whole time we were there and the first thing we did after arriving was find ourselves a little cobbled square and order Belgian beer (plus wine for me). It was glorious. This trip was our first abroad since 2019 and I realised how much I had missed the privilege of sitting in the heart of a European city. After drinks and sharing pizza and fries between the three of us, we went in search of Belgian waffles because of course. We ate them sat in the Markt as the sun set and Alfie toddled about having a great time, although he refused to try the waffles which was a catastrophic error on his part in my opinion. We spent our full day building up a hefty step-count exploring the main bulk of Bruges’ nooks and crannies, stopping for lunch at De Republiek and chocolate shopping at Olivier’s. I’d recommend both. The goat’s cheese and beetroot on sourdough toast at De Republiek was delicious. It’s easy to romanticise, so obviously the day also involved trying to juggle Alfie’s nap and his desire to wander into the road and his time-limited patience in cafes. And we also had to go back to the apartment to collapse for a bit because toddlers are tiring and ours does not sleep. But I guess that’s travelling with kids? There are plenty of stressful moments (sometimes really stressful) but there are also moments of magic that you wouldn’t change for a second. Speaking of which: for ease, we had dinner out in one of the restaurants in the Markt which once upon a time, we would have avoided because it’s touristy and yes, whilst the food was kinda average, the location was just brilliant. I mean, what a view. And Alfie was as good as gold, happily sitting in his high-chair, people watching for the majority of the meal. Afterwards, we headed back to the same place for waffles and recreated the previous golden-hour evening.

We were out early on our final morning for breakfast at That’s Toast and I really would recommend this place. If the weather is nice, definitely sit in the little courtyard garden and I personal would recommend the The Classic: avocado salsa, poached egg, green asparagus, Grana paddno & mint on toast (seems to be a lot of toast recommendations coming out of Bruges which I wasn’t expecting). As I’m not a morning person, I’m very rarely out when a city is just waking up and yet, whenever I do it, I immediately wish I do it more because there’s something really special about the light and the quiet.

Leg 5: Bruges > Home

Our final leg was the longest and therefore the one we were least looking forward to. We purposefully tried to keep Alfie awake during the drive from Bruges to Calais which was successful but then we were delayed at Calais and ended up too far on the other side i.e. dealing with a toddler who is past the point of sleep but very overtired. Let me tell ya: this combined with being confined to a car in a queue is not the one. By the time we were back in England, things had escalated and we had our first proper experience of being the people with a small child screaming the place down in a service station just outside Folkstone. Half empty service stations really echo, don’t they? I re-used the old cheesy puff tactic to get him back into his car seat which worked, only he realised five minutes later that he had been tricked and was FUMING. Honestly, in the end – out of sheer desperation – I searched YouTube for ‘get my baby to sleep’ videos, found some trippy shit that involved floating sheep and whether by luck or judgement, it worked and the bugger that is my firstborn fell asleep and I could finally bang my head against the window in peace.

And that’s a great note to end on don’t ya think?

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30 Jun 2023

A Summer Wishlist

I wrote this in mid-May when I was still wearing cardigans and hugging hot drinks. Spring just didn’t really show up in the end, eh? And then suddenly we were plunged from winter into proper summer, heat and pure blue skies. Somewhat surprisingly for me, I’ve been really enjoying it. I famously do not like high temperatures and I find that the hotter months heighten my anxiety around the climate crisis, but the long overdue vitamin D and the roses popping in my garden and Alfie loving being outside has had me feeling really quite cheerful. Also, very importantly, the temperatures are still dropping at night which I personally think is the difference between a heatwave being bearable or not (and therefore the difference in whether I behave like a grumpy gremlin or not). It’s reminding me of the summers of my childhood.

Anyway, I wrote this list to try and get the most out of the summer despite the temps and climate anxiety:

Swim in a lido – I’ve had a craving to go swimming in a lido since midwinter. Not sure where it came from, perhaps because I love swimming but barely do it, perhaps because there is something so uniquely special about swimming outside and I would love to do more of it. Either way, I’d really love to take a visit to our nearest lido this summer.

Take Alfie swimming – and on a similar note, we feel like he’s hit an age now where he will be interested in (and we think enjoy given how much he seems to like playing with water) swimming, so we are keen to take him again in the near future.

Being outside with Alfie as much as possible – I tell you, there is nothing more joyous then watching a toddler discover some of the simplest joys of the summer for the very first time. He keeps running to the back door, wanting to get out into the garden so he can charge about barefoot, throwing balls around. When we were on holiday, his biggest joy was playing with a couple of sticks he found in the garden. I could watch him do it all summer.

Visit my sister – this is well overdue but I’m really looking forward to finally visiting my sister’s flat in London. Now that she’s newly engaged, this is going to be even more fun because it’s going to give us the opportunity to have a nose around her wedding venue.

Eat in Plants restaurant – visiting the Deliciously Ella Plants restaurant in London is right at the top of my bucket list at the moment. I love her app and am low-key obsessed with the Plants Waitrose range so I would love to visit the restaurant. Whether budget and time allow this summer, I’m not sure, but I’m hopefully throwing it on the list anyway.

Have a night away just the two of us – a girl can dream. Breastfeeding (18 months and counting) and Alfie’s terrible sleep has meant that this hasn’t yet felt possible for us, but we are really hoping that the time is upon us. We have paid our dues guys, manifest this for us please.

Have a trip to the seaside – because if you didn’t dip your toes in the sea and spend several weeks afterwards finding sand in your shoes, did summer even happen?

Have friends to stay – really looking forward to having two of my oldest friends to stay and having a well overdue catch-up.

Go for a date night at The Old Hall – my parents very generously gifted Gary a voucher for The Old Hall for his birthday and so we are planning a date night here very soon. The Old Hall is a gorgeous wedding venue/dining experience just outside of Ely and it is such a treat to go and eat there. We’ve been for dinner and Sunday lunch before and both times were such lovely and memorable experiences. We are excited to go again, and it feels even more of a treat to not have to spend anything.

Other date nights – we’re still trying to stick to at least one date a month and other ideas for the summer include: afternoon tea at Fitzbillies in Cambridge; my friend Dan generously gifted us a voucher so we’re keen to go eat mini sandwiches and silly cakes on a summer’s afternoon, dinner and cocktails at The Yard in Ely which has become one of my favourite places since it opened in March, plus we want to pay a visit to Six in Cambridge during the warmer months because how good does that roof terrace look?!

Enjoy the little things synonymous with summer – ice creams by the river, G&Ts in the garden, colourful summer dresses, eating dinner outside as much as possible, simple weekend BBQs, picnics, playing in the garden with Alfie, sunkissed skin, summer weddings, the garden looking beautiful and colourful, summer cooking, big sunglasses, painted toenails, that summer-evening-golden-hour glow.

Hope you are enjoying the summer dear reader, tell me, what do you have planned for July & August?

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One Minute Book Reviews: What I've Been Reading This Spring

Light-hearted reads? Female friendships? Honest motherhood? Can’t-put-down-brilliance? I got you. Let’s dive in to what I’ve been reading in March, April & May.

A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Set hundreds of years in the future after humans have left planet Earth, we follow a team of misfits working on a tunnelling ship who are travelling across space to tunnel a wormhole to a distant planet. Along the way, they have to deal with mishaps and danger, and bond together as a family.

This was a surprisingly wholesome book, full of adorable characters and gentle adventure. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting; I thought I’d be reading a fast-paced plot, but this was mostly character-driven and was perhaps a little cheesy in places. But the level of detail in the world building was very impressive and I’d read the further novels in the series. Also, I loved the cover and the fact this started out life as a self-published novel via a Kickstarter campaign. 3.5/5

Holding the Baby: Milk, sweat & tears from the frontline of motherhood by Nell Frizzell

Part memoir, part manifesto, this book sets out to understand why we treat parenthood as an individual slog rather than a cultural responsibility. Via extremely honest stories of her own experiences of sleep deprivation, childcare and maternal rage, the author draws on latest research to explore issues such as the effect of parenting on our careers, the affordability of childcare and why, if parenting is so difficult, why does anyone do it more than once?

Complete with quirky sketches that made me snort, this was one of the most accurate depictions of modern-day motherhood that I’ve come across, delving right into a lot of the unspoken ‘taboo’ topics. I found it immensely comforting and extremely funny. I would recommend this to everyone because I think we could all be better educated on the ways society repeatedly fails young children and those raising them, but I’d particularly recommend to all parents, especially those in the early years. 4.5/5

Spilt Milk by Amy Beashel

Ooo this was an interesting one. A story about a mother of a young child who accidentally publishes a blog post about her intentions to have a termination of her second child, without telling her husband, and the subsequent fallout of the post. This novel dealt with some really interesting issues, not-regretting-but-regretting motherhood, the division of labour between couples, the grief of losing a parent, the relentlessness of modern-day parenting, the danger of the things left unsaid, influencer and cancel culture, and media manipulation… to name a few! I thought it was a bold and brave novel, but I did struggle with the likeability of the characters. Ultimately, I found I didn’t really care that much if the couple at the heart of the story worked through their problems and, whilst I liked the intention behind the ending, I found it a touch unrealistic and an indication of the unrecognised privilege of the characters. 3/5

The 24-Hour Café by Libby Page

Two best friends work in a 24-hour café just outside Liverpool Street station to support their efforts to become a dancer and a singer. Over the course of 24 hours, we learn about the history of their friendship, as well as the potential breakdown. At its heart, this is a story about the intensity of female friendships, but also how these friendships change as we get older, as well as that period of life in your late twenties/early thirties when things start to shift. In between, the novel is peppered with mini stories about the people drifting in and out of the café. Whilst a little slow in places, this was a lovely little novel full of the ups and downs of life. 3.5/5

Someone Else’s Shoes by Jojo Moyes

Had my eye on this book but couldn’t justify the full price (£22!) and then I found it for £3.90 on Vinted. What a win! A great read about two women who experience a bag mix-up at the gym which leads to a whole host of hilarity. Nisha lives a globetrotting, wealthy lifestyle until her husband inexplicably cuts her off entirely and she is left standing in her dressing gown and someone else’s shoes. Sam is struggling to keep herself and her family afloat whilst her husband suffers from depression and her boss bullies her until someone else’s shoes give her – and her career – a boost. Loved the hotel setting – think maid-in-Manhattan vibes – although, ultimately, the love story is about female friendships and women banding together. Inhaled this in twenty-four hours and was left with the happy, buzzy feeling of a noughties rom com. 4.5/5

The Odyssey by Lara Williams

Ingrid works on a huge cruise liner rotating between the gift shop, nail salon, lifeguard duties and wherever else on the ship she may be allocated. On her days off, she disembarks the ship and gets wasted in whatever country she finds herself in. Then one day, she is selected for the captain’s ‘mentorship’ programme where she is pushed to the point that her carefully constructed life starts to fall apart.

I’ll be honest, the only reason I finished this was because it is a short novel. I think otherwise, I would have given up because it was far too surreal and unsatisfactory for my liking. At first, I thought it was because I have become a little tired of the ‘disenfranchised millennial’ genre but ultimately, I just felt like the meaning was going over my head. I hoped for some kind of clarification at the end and was frustrated when I didn’t get it. A shame because I loved the author’s other novel, Supper Club, so I was disappointed with this one. 2/5

Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang

A literary heist: young talented author, Athena Liu, dies in a freak accident and her ‘friend’, June Hayward, steals her unpublished manuscript and publishes it as her own under the ambiguous name Juniper Song. What follows is a juicy thriller giving fascinating insights into the publishing world, white privilege and social media cancel culture. This was my first experience reading something by Rebecca F. Kuang and I can’t wait to delve into her other work because this was a treat. What a talent to make such a dislikeable protagonist so compelling. I could not put this down and would highly recommend. 5/5

Happy reading folks x

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25 May 2023

Lunch In Coal Drops Yard, London: Favourite Baby Friendly Spots

One of the highlights of my maternity leave was taking semi-regular trips into London to spend time in Coal Drop’s Yard, just behind King’s Cross station. Alfie and I got into a routine of taking the train into King’s Cross on a weekday and then meeting friends with babies, friends who worked irregular hours or friends who were willing to take a cheeky afternoon off. It felt manageable with a very young baby (we started doing this when Alfie was about 3 months old) because there was only one train to contend with (i.e. no tube) and we didn’t travel that far from the station. Alfie has always seemed quite taken with trains (and not cars – very like his mama) so we would hop on the train mid-morning, spend a few hours hanging out around Coal Drop’s Yard and then hop back on the train, home in time for bath and bed. It worked very well. It was also a real treat for me because, after years of drifting past Coal Drop’s Yard during commutes, but never having enough time to explore properly, I finally felt like I had the opportunity to investigate all the great food places around there.

The thing that surprised me the most – just how baby-friendly it was. In many ways, I am preferring this new toddler phase but I have to admit, a massive perk of the early months is just how portable those little ones are and how they stay where you put them. It actually makes dining out with them pretty easy, once you’re over the initial reservations about having to deal with nappy changes and whacking your boob out in public. I’m really glad I did manage to embrace this as much as finances allowed. Here’s some of my favourite discoveries (and I’m sure there are many more still to discover):

Granary Square Brasserie

Alright, cheating here because I had been to Granary Square Brasserie a few times pre-baby but this was the first place I came when Alfie was three months to meet two of my oldest friends, one who had a baby just three weeks after me. We had two prams, two newborns and it was a total dream. It’s so easy to a) worry about going to a restaurant with a baby and b) being far from home with a baby and without your other half when you’ve never done it before, but this was a real lesson in how most people really couldn’t care less that you have a baby with you. We sat outside, ate three delicious courses and the babies played musical chairs between our laps. The food is classic British bistro style but with that extra bit of summin’. The zucchini fries are always a crowd pleaser.

Happy Place

Specifically designed to be family friendly but in a non-crap way (you know what I mean), this place offers a kids menu and colouring sheets, and cocktails and excellent pizzas for adults. My friend and I went with both a toddler and a baby and felt like we didn’t need to worry about the inevitable chaos that results in whilst still enjoying pizza and a cheeky lunchtime tipple. Also, there’s a playground nearby where said toddler could run about and benches where said baby could have a feed.

Dishoom

Boy, do I love Dishoom. Love. But it was a bit of a slow burner for me; the first couple of times I went, I disliked how long the queues were and felt like I hadn’t made the most of the menu. What I’ve learned is to visit on weekdays or less-common eating times, ask the waiter for recommendations and pick things slightly at random because everything is delicious. Also, the chai is bottomless and you must make the most of that. Oh and the rice pudding is sublime. And it’s a great place for vegans. I’ll stop now. My main point is, when I rocked up with a buggy and a four-month-old to have lunch with my friend, they didn’t bat an eyelid. Moved us to a more spacious (step-free) table, were efficient getting us the bill when Alfie started to get restless etc. Bonus point – the décor and smells make for pretty decent baby sensory.

Sons & Daughters

A great one for the summer – these guys do really good takeaway sandwiches. Any sandwich made with focaccia elevates it to a new level in my opinion. Take a blanket and let baby roll about or go sit by the fountains in Granary Square and let the water entertain them. Either way it’s a cute summer scene and you have a very nice sandwich.

Caravan

When I first walked into Caravan, I did have a slight fear that I might be pushing my luck. The warehouse-type vibe with long, shared tables did make me wonder if this was really going to work with a seven-month-old. But again, nobody batted an eyelid. The waitress seated us at the end of the table, produced a highchair without asking and spent most of the time cooing over Alfie (she loved him so much, we got a small discount). The menu is inspired by the founders’ travels so there is all sorts on there; can confirm that the sourdough pizza is very good.

Lina’s

For some reason, I really felt like Lina’s wasn’t going to be baby friendly. I’m not sure if it’s the gorgeous décor or the delicate plates of pasta, but I’d somehow convinced myself that I wasn’t going to be popular bringing in a small human. Perhaps it was also because this was when Alfie was eleven months and a lot more active. You know how this goes by now but being proved wrong with Lina’s was particularly amusing because we walked into the restaurant, and I counted no less than six tables with babies in highchairs. Lina’s is all about the pasta and it is delicious. Their tagliolini al tartufo is a particular highlight for me. My only gripe is that the portions sizes are very small so ordering three mains between two of you is perfectly acceptable. Con – more expensive. Pro – you get to try more of the delicious food. And a table full of multiple plates of pasta is my idea of heaven, quite frankly. Don’t forget to have a nose around their deli on the way out.

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18 Apr 2023

That First Trip To A&E

There’s a certain feeling when stepping out of the house at half three in the morning. A stillness, like everything is cloaked in an extra layer of quiet. I have been awake many times at half three in the morning since my son was born but within the confines of a dark room, not in the chilly middle-of-the-night air. It reminds both my husband and I of leaving for family holidays as children.

Unfortunately, we’re not leaving the house in the middle of the night to catch a flight or drive a long distance. We’re leaving the house after being sprayed with vomit, seeing ‘40.5’ flash up on our thermometer and a call with NHS 111.

The inaugural trip to A&E. Weather-worn parents had warned us it would come but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant. We don’t actually know we’re going to A&E yet, at the moment we’re heading to an out-of-hours GP appointment which will result in a referral to paediatric A&E. I’m sat in the backseat, holding my son’s hand. He has immediately gone back to sleep with a slight huff, like this is all incredibly inconvenient for him. I am not panicking; I have a gut instinct that whatever is wrong with him is not one of the Big Scary Ones. I actually have this strange sensation that I’m going to look back on this almost fondly one day. Not him being ill or driving to hospital in the middle of the night on less than three hours sleep, but that feeling that he needs us, that feel of him cuddled into my chest, the sensation that – whilst very worrying – we as his parents can try and solve the problem.

Addenbrookes is an enormous hospital and trying to figure out where the hell you need to go amongst all the dark buildings in the middle of the night does feel a little like the start of a crime drama. We being the unlucky victims that don’t survive the opening credits of course. My son is awake, wrapped in a blanket and looking around in a bemused fashion. If he could form the words, I’m pretty sure he’d say: ‘what the hell is going on?’. As it happens the only words he currently can say are ‘oh dear’ which feels pretty apt.

We find the clinic and sit in a jarringly-brightly-lit waiting area. We are the only ones there and I am forcibly reminded of the last time we were in this scenario, in the same hospital, only I was on my knees, making mooing noises and forty-five minutes away from delivering a baby, and my husband was frantically trying to find someone to let us into the maternity unit. Not as bad as that, I think. We are seen by the GP only twenty-five minutes after our appointment time – I was expecting longer – and we answer the questions we have already answered three times to various people over the phone. She gives him a thorough and kind assessment and decides that his raised heartrate and the way his belly sucks under his ribs as he breathes is enough to have him reviewed by the paediatric registrar.

Paediatric A&E is right next to the usual A&E, only it’s a small, grey door and doesn’t have the shining red sign. It is also locked. So, we have to brave normal A&E which is busy but silent and is the first time I have the thought I would really like to be somewhere else now. A&E – at least from the perspective of the patients – must be one of the most depressing places in the country and I feet for the weary-looking woman in blue scrubs who heads towards us, automatically pulling out the red priority wrist band as she does so. She sends us back out to the security guard who can let us through the grey door, and he is the one who warns us it is unlikely they will let both parents in.

I get the reasoning, I really do, but separating one parent from their sick child and leaving the other to cope alone is highly stressful for all involved. I am left alone with my sick toddler in one arm, overflowing bag in the other, trying to keep the blanket around him, trying to open doors and not drop his cup which he keeps desperately sucking water from. I am also trying to fish my phone out of my pocket so I can be ready to keep my husband updated as much as possible. I’m then asked to fill out a form which means contorting my spine in an unnatural position so as to bend down to the desk and not drop my child. Honestly, I’m amazed there aren’t more mothers in A&E with mum-back syndrome. Surely it must be a thing?

We’re shown to a bay, and I gratefully drop the bag and sink into the chair. My son, who tries to go back to sleep every time we stop, drapes himself across my front again and closes his eyes. I wrap my arms around him and wish I could do the same. I lean my head back and wonder when the last time I wore a facemask was. Surreal to think it used to be all the time. I’d forgotten how easily they make your glasses steam up.

We are reviewed by a nurse, then by a paediatric registrar. My son screams loud enough to wake up half of Cambridge whilst being gently fed ibuprofen but doesn’t bat an eyelid when something is put in his ear. Go figure. I try and take in all the information – ear infection, inflamed throat, upper respiratory tract infection – but I know I’m going to forget details later. I know he is okay though. That I remember.

My husband and I text from different ends of the hospital with updates, dealing with practicalities (I’ve messaged my line manager, the shop is coming at 9, reckon your parents can go over and collect it) as well as the important details:

There is a mini shopping centre here… Costa, M&S, The Body Shop… Reckon I could sneak you in a pain au chocolat?

I snort and vow to go get a pastry the moment they tell us we can go. Which they do, surprisingly soon. And then I have antibiotics in my pocket and am looking at croissants in M&S as the sun rises over A&E.

My son’s fever breaks in the car on the way home, his silky hair messy with sweat, and my husband declares that he is quite happy to spend the rest of his life pottering about coffee shops. Which is mostly what we do these days. Exhausted parents, clinging onto the first sip of that hot drink, wondering when we stopped talking about exciting trips and started repeatedly talking about a small person’s bodily fluids.

But when you have a scare, when you spend the night in a hospital holding onto your sick child, you realise there is such privilege in the mundanity. In the hot drink that you can afford and the healthy child trying to eat other people’s crumbs off the floor. I’ll take that any day.

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